hello, old friend...

i borrowed back an old guitar today because one of mine is in the shop. i like having two similar guitars when i do any playing because i'm a notorious string breaker...

i brought it in with the intention of changing the strings but found the strings that i put on it before i returned it that last time were still in good condition so i picked it up and started playing. it was like i picked it up only a day before...like talking to an old friend having not met for years and picking up where we left off the last meeting...  instantaneously...

i loved this guitar...  no... i love this guitar. i let him go for good cause. he went to a dear friend who also loved this guitar. he was a gift in appreciation for all that she did during an extremely difficult time for me. it was the right size for her to learn to play guitar. so as much as i was attached to this object of wood and steel...i was willing to part with him to bless another. i missed him immediately. i ended up purchasing 2 more like it to replace it. not quite the same, but good enough...  or so i thought...

i borrowed him back once before...

about 3 years ago. it was different though... almost uncomfortable.

best i can explain it...  it was like running into an old girlfriend unexpectedly. it felt a bit awkward, like i didn't quite know what to say, wanting to connect but unable to. after a week or two, i returned him to my friend and purchased another one just like it online.

this time...

it was different...

i was different.

i'm in a different place now...  and i was able to fully embrace my old friend. over a few hours and a couple glasses of jameson... the parlor and i got re-aquainted. now, i am by no means an accomplished musician let alone guitar player but i can play a song or two. and that's what i did. no songbook, no lead sheets.. .no nothing. just me and the parlor...

i am in a different place now. i'm in a place where i can look back and not regret and i can look forward and hope. i can almost... almost look straight where i'm at and be content in the moment. almost...but not quite there yet. but in my time tonite, i am able to fully be content with my time with the parlor. all guitars have songs in them. this one has quite a few and prolly more that i never quite discovered. but that's ok...

in our time tonite, there seemed a bit of an understanding between the parlor and me. it was truly like we picked up here we left off and laid the groundwork for some future exploration. we spent the first half hour getting re-aquainted with each other...and then we slowly moved into exploring new areas. bits of ideas that have been sitting in my head were joining together. it's was almost as if i needed to re-connect to complete certain ideas...as if we were...collaborating. it was an incredible two hours just playing...

why am i writing this experience down? because i'm learning to be content in the moment. i'm learning to appreciate the moment and not to expect anything other than what will come next. it's not that thing where i'm setting my expectations low...it's just that i'm just expecting...

something?

anything...

and knowing that that something will in some way, turn out to be be...

unexpectedly good.

that's all... really... that's all...