was at the park with the kykadoodles recently. jungle gyms and monkey bars are like crack for her...seriously...
this park had an interesting one in which the bars spin and you have to make the transfer from one to the other while managing your momentum...quite a trick really.
well of course she's going for it...like a junkie needing a hit...
she figures it out after bout 20 minutes and yells...
"daddy! watch this!"
normally, my default reaction to those words are to cringe in fright...but i watch...and...she does it...
i'm proud and think, "yeah, her mom wasn't that athletic...must be my genes!"
she then starts this little skip/strut over to me that looks vaguely familar...
oh, yeah...
ESPN!
when the hot dog hits a long three or scores off an interception...or get's that walk off slam...
it's that attitude...pride bordering on arrogance...
and crap...that's my genes too...
i'm in for it...
crap
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
hello, old friend...
i borrowed back an old guitar today because one of mine is in the shop. i like having two similar guitars when i do any playing because i'm a notorious string breaker...
i brought it in with the intention of changing the strings but found the strings that i put on it before i returned it that last time were still in good condition so i picked it up and started playing. it was like i picked it up only a day before...like talking to an old friend having not met for years and picking up where we left off the last meeting... instantaneously...
i loved this guitar... no... i love this guitar. i let him go for good cause. he went to a dear friend who also loved this guitar. he was a gift in appreciation for all that she did during an extremely difficult time for me. it was the right size for her to learn to play guitar. so as much as i was attached to this object of wood and steel...i was willing to part with him to bless another. i missed him immediately. i ended up purchasing 2 more like it to replace it. not quite the same, but good enough... or so i thought...
i borrowed him back once before...
about 3 years ago. it was different though... almost uncomfortable.
best i can explain it... it was like running into an old girlfriend unexpectedly. it felt a bit awkward, like i didn't quite know what to say, wanting to connect but unable to. after a week or two, i returned him to my friend and purchased another one just like it online.
this time...
it was different...
i was different.
i'm in a different place now... and i was able to fully embrace my old friend. over a few hours and a couple glasses of jameson... the parlor and i got re-aquainted. now, i am by no means an accomplished musician let alone guitar player but i can play a song or two. and that's what i did. no songbook, no lead sheets.. .no nothing. just me and the parlor...
i am in a different place now. i'm in a place where i can look back and not regret and i can look forward and hope. i can almost... almost look straight where i'm at and be content in the moment. almost...but not quite there yet. but in my time tonite, i am able to fully be content with my time with the parlor. all guitars have songs in them. this one has quite a few and prolly more that i never quite discovered. but that's ok...
in our time tonite, there seemed a bit of an understanding between the parlor and me. it was truly like we picked up here we left off and laid the groundwork for some future exploration. we spent the first half hour getting re-aquainted with each other...and then we slowly moved into exploring new areas. bits of ideas that have been sitting in my head were joining together. it's was almost as if i needed to re-connect to complete certain ideas...as if we were...collaborating. it was an incredible two hours just playing...
why am i writing this experience down? because i'm learning to be content in the moment. i'm learning to appreciate the moment and not to expect anything other than what will come next. it's not that thing where i'm setting my expectations low...it's just that i'm just expecting...
something?
anything...
and knowing that that something will in some way, turn out to be be...
unexpectedly good.
that's all... really... that's all...
i brought it in with the intention of changing the strings but found the strings that i put on it before i returned it that last time were still in good condition so i picked it up and started playing. it was like i picked it up only a day before...like talking to an old friend having not met for years and picking up where we left off the last meeting... instantaneously...
i loved this guitar... no... i love this guitar. i let him go for good cause. he went to a dear friend who also loved this guitar. he was a gift in appreciation for all that she did during an extremely difficult time for me. it was the right size for her to learn to play guitar. so as much as i was attached to this object of wood and steel...i was willing to part with him to bless another. i missed him immediately. i ended up purchasing 2 more like it to replace it. not quite the same, but good enough... or so i thought...
i borrowed him back once before...
about 3 years ago. it was different though... almost uncomfortable.
best i can explain it... it was like running into an old girlfriend unexpectedly. it felt a bit awkward, like i didn't quite know what to say, wanting to connect but unable to. after a week or two, i returned him to my friend and purchased another one just like it online.
this time...
it was different...
i was different.
i'm in a different place now... and i was able to fully embrace my old friend. over a few hours and a couple glasses of jameson... the parlor and i got re-aquainted. now, i am by no means an accomplished musician let alone guitar player but i can play a song or two. and that's what i did. no songbook, no lead sheets.. .no nothing. just me and the parlor...
i am in a different place now. i'm in a place where i can look back and not regret and i can look forward and hope. i can almost... almost look straight where i'm at and be content in the moment. almost...but not quite there yet. but in my time tonite, i am able to fully be content with my time with the parlor. all guitars have songs in them. this one has quite a few and prolly more that i never quite discovered. but that's ok...
in our time tonite, there seemed a bit of an understanding between the parlor and me. it was truly like we picked up here we left off and laid the groundwork for some future exploration. we spent the first half hour getting re-aquainted with each other...and then we slowly moved into exploring new areas. bits of ideas that have been sitting in my head were joining together. it's was almost as if i needed to re-connect to complete certain ideas...as if we were...collaborating. it was an incredible two hours just playing...
why am i writing this experience down? because i'm learning to be content in the moment. i'm learning to appreciate the moment and not to expect anything other than what will come next. it's not that thing where i'm setting my expectations low...it's just that i'm just expecting...
something?
anything...
and knowing that that something will in some way, turn out to be be...
unexpectedly good.
that's all... really... that's all...
Friday, March 5, 2010
i'm a real nowhere man...
maybe i is and maybe i isn't...
been mulling a bit lately as to where and when this journey for "change" actually started.
change.
yeah i guess that is the word for it.
a few summers ago i went to visit a friend up in Seattle....errr Redmond to be exact. i was pretty much crispity from several work engagements that were not only high stress...but required travel. i think she had meant to...for lack of a better term, confront me about a few things. as it was, she waited until the end of the visit to lay it in me...actually, on the way to the airport...
basically, she told me while praying for me, she had a vision of me in the middle of the dessert, in the middle of nowhere, holed up in a shack by myself...isolated.
even though in the moment, it made me rock backwards a bit...it took me awhile to really grasp what it meant and i did realize that's exactly what i was doing. i was isolating myself from people. not asking for help, not interacting, not seeking out...not connecting with people at all. i don't know why that's me...but it pretty much is...well me.
i tend to try and not be a bother to people...trouble them in any way
the best i can explain is that i'm an introvert and when i'm faced with adversity, pain or stress...i turn inwards.
her point was this...
if i isolate myself, how do i expect to experience God's love for me?
God uses others to show His love to us. by not letting others show their love to me by helping me...i'm denying God the opportunity to shower His love on me...
whoah...
this has taken me till now to even begin really grasping...understanding...willing to live...
sure i let people help me in small ways...and always of my choosing. and usually things that aren't that big of a deal so that i don't feel as if i'm imposing. but what about the really hard tings...the embarrassing things? what are they, hard or embarrassing? why are they?
that i'm still trying to grasp....still trying to live and act upon.
more later? but i'm sure it has alot to do about the un-looked for favor or act of grace....
but there i was...the nowhere man...
i'm not sureci want to be the "somewhere" man...but i really don't want to be the other guy anymore...
He's a real nowhere man
Living in his nowhere land
making all his nowhere plans
for nobody
yeah... really really really don't want to be that guy...
really really
been mulling a bit lately as to where and when this journey for "change" actually started.
change.
yeah i guess that is the word for it.
a few summers ago i went to visit a friend up in Seattle....errr Redmond to be exact. i was pretty much crispity from several work engagements that were not only high stress...but required travel. i think she had meant to...for lack of a better term, confront me about a few things. as it was, she waited until the end of the visit to lay it in me...actually, on the way to the airport...
basically, she told me while praying for me, she had a vision of me in the middle of the dessert, in the middle of nowhere, holed up in a shack by myself...isolated.
even though in the moment, it made me rock backwards a bit...it took me awhile to really grasp what it meant and i did realize that's exactly what i was doing. i was isolating myself from people. not asking for help, not interacting, not seeking out...not connecting with people at all. i don't know why that's me...but it pretty much is...well me.
i tend to try and not be a bother to people...trouble them in any way
the best i can explain is that i'm an introvert and when i'm faced with adversity, pain or stress...i turn inwards.
her point was this...
if i isolate myself, how do i expect to experience God's love for me?
God uses others to show His love to us. by not letting others show their love to me by helping me...i'm denying God the opportunity to shower His love on me...
whoah...
this has taken me till now to even begin really grasping...understanding...willing to live...
sure i let people help me in small ways...and always of my choosing. and usually things that aren't that big of a deal so that i don't feel as if i'm imposing. but what about the really hard tings...the embarrassing things? what are they, hard or embarrassing? why are they?
that i'm still trying to grasp....still trying to live and act upon.
more later? but i'm sure it has alot to do about the un-looked for favor or act of grace....
but there i was...the nowhere man...
i'm not sureci want to be the "somewhere" man...but i really don't want to be the other guy anymore...
He's a real nowhere man
Living in his nowhere land
making all his nowhere plans
for nobody
yeah... really really really don't want to be that guy...
really really
Monday, March 1, 2010
and Karma bites back...
hhrrrmmmm...
so no sooner had i finished writing my last my last entry (albeit not posted yet) did karma decide to retaliate...but in a small way...
speaking of which, is karma a he or a she? a he-she? hmmmmm...
well, after coming home and showering (tennis after church plus grilling for dinner, i needed it!) i decided to do the dishes left over from the previous day...
one of the items to be washed was a ramekin that i used for olive oil while i was toasting some french bread...so of course it was slick...and so of course it slipped from my hand. no worries...except whodathunk it would fit perfectly over the drain-hole...and fit snuggly at that? so snug that with water already draining through, the suction pulled it pretty snug. made even more snug by me trying to pull it out and me trying to clean off as much oil off it as possible.
failure is soon coming...
i tried a knife to pry it...no go...
i tried a bit of ice...thinking it would contract enough? just more water to clean out...
i tried to MacGuyver it w/ a wad of duct tape...not even...
so...i decide to tackle it from below. i removed the garbage disposal only to be greeted by the reminder i hadn't run it yet...nasty bits of food particle...awesome...
a dish towel, mallet and wooden broomstick handle...not even close...*sigh*
final answer? flat-head screwdriver and a hammer...little pieces of ramekin all over.
karma?
i "stole" that ramekin from Stuart Anderson's Black Angus as a practical joke on Kat years ago. she said she was klepto as a kid but grew out of it. we snuck it in her to go box when she went to the ladies room. we never fessed up even though she knew...
Kat always said i was gonna get it for that...karma would get me(to which she added IF she believed in karma as a disclaimer), as i protested my innocence for like 10 years...
well..i finally did get it...not a day after i pretty much thumbed my nose at karma...
my response to karma?
is that all you got...bring it!
heh
dig a hole, jump in, cover yer head...
kidding...
so no sooner had i finished writing my last my last entry (albeit not posted yet) did karma decide to retaliate...but in a small way...
speaking of which, is karma a he or a she? a he-she? hmmmmm...
well, after coming home and showering (tennis after church plus grilling for dinner, i needed it!) i decided to do the dishes left over from the previous day...
one of the items to be washed was a ramekin that i used for olive oil while i was toasting some french bread...so of course it was slick...and so of course it slipped from my hand. no worries...except whodathunk it would fit perfectly over the drain-hole...and fit snuggly at that? so snug that with water already draining through, the suction pulled it pretty snug. made even more snug by me trying to pull it out and me trying to clean off as much oil off it as possible.
failure is soon coming...
i tried a knife to pry it...no go...
i tried a bit of ice...thinking it would contract enough? just more water to clean out...
i tried to MacGuyver it w/ a wad of duct tape...not even...
so...i decide to tackle it from below. i removed the garbage disposal only to be greeted by the reminder i hadn't run it yet...nasty bits of food particle...awesome...
a dish towel, mallet and wooden broomstick handle...not even close...*sigh*
final answer? flat-head screwdriver and a hammer...little pieces of ramekin all over.
karma?
i "stole" that ramekin from Stuart Anderson's Black Angus as a practical joke on Kat years ago. she said she was klepto as a kid but grew out of it. we snuck it in her to go box when she went to the ladies room. we never fessed up even though she knew...
Kat always said i was gonna get it for that...karma would get me(to which she added IF she believed in karma as a disclaimer), as i protested my innocence for like 10 years...
well..i finally did get it...not a day after i pretty much thumbed my nose at karma...
my response to karma?
is that all you got...bring it!
heh
dig a hole, jump in, cover yer head...
kidding...
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