standing and waiting... and then jumping on in...

there's something to be said about not rushing into decisions...

and of course, this is being written with several years worth of hindsight in the bank.

pastor talked about this some months back. before the church would make a decision regarding something, they'd take months to pray through a decision and wait for His timing before they would move...

i think before, that's something that was not so much foreign to me, just...not something that would've been my first instinct, that whole "stand at the doorway and watch, wait and pray" thing when i had a decision to make and it seemingly looked like it was ripe for the picking...

and more often then not, it sometimes works out that it seems as if we make that fateful decision, it seems to works out pretty well.

but like i said, hindsight.

what i'm realizing is that there can be be a blurred or seamless line between the two.

almost ten years ago, i got this job.  i thought it was going to be a great job.  it was the one that would last me a long time.

but a few months into it, i realized it was not.  and things got worse and i had a short but intense season of depression because of that job.

and so i decided to look for a new one.

and i looked...

and i looked...

and i looked...

and every good opportunity (and there were several) didn't turn out.

even the internal change that i thought was going to be perfect, didn't work out.

ten years later...

one worked out.

the one i wasn't looking for nor expecting at this point.

i think i had spent a good eight years actively praying for new employment

and probably the last two just learning to appreciate that God had kept me employed

and all that time making observations and learning about what time of company and team i would like to be a part of and trying to build that team and relationships in my current environment.  i hadn't given up but i was going to make the best of my situation.

and then came the new job

and i jumped at the opportunity

there was an internal option as well that was pretty attractive but it felt as if the new opportunity would be the best for my future... for now at least.

i say i jumped and initially i felt as if i did and didn't really consult my Maker...

but in conversations with Him, i felt as if he was telling me He was just preparing me for that time so i would be able to act decisively and without doubt.

"that's why I was preparing you for ten years you nerf-herder!"

"yeah, i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed..."

"you are sharp, you just think too much sometimes... same reason why you waited five years for Jane..."

"oh... ohhh... OOOOOOHHHHHH..."

"ummm... yeah, dumbass"

so that's how it sometimes works.

God is showing us something.  we can't always see it clearly which is why he asks us to stand and pray and when the time is right, we'll be prepared to act.

i'm no longer really sure whether God opens and closes doors but more that He says to us, stop and think about everything I've done to prepare you to make this decision.  it's not yes or no, but is it now, later, better, worse, should you or should you not.

the choice is ours.

He just does His best to prepare us to make those decisions...